Dear Suzi,
You have been a great inspiration to my 17 yr. old
daughter, Pam, who adores you, but I have to tell you something
earnestly that really bothers me.
My daughter, one of your top
fans, is overweight. When I watch videos of you with her, I am
disturbed by your complaints about your body. I am also disturbed by
the fact that stores that you promote, such as the Free People clothing
store, only sell clothing for size 12 and under.
After having lost one daughter to an eating disorder many years ago, I
am writing to urge you not to say negative things about your body and
to please not promote "only small is good" stores. I want my daughter
to love herself for who she is and to not be influenced by her heros in
a way that will make her feel bad about herself.
I know that doing that was not your intention. I am placing no
blame on you at all. I just thought you might want to consider these
suggestions because you do have younger fans and they think your word
rules. Maybe if you thought about it from the standpoint of an
overweight young girl, you could understand the potential harm.
Anyway, i thank you for at least thinking about it.
Dear Goddess,
First, about free people - I am an advocate of the style of their clothing, I do not buy from them though. I am suggesting we make our own clothing, in the mixed media layering style. adding pieces that normally dont go together. this season they have added mens wear flannels to tank tops. I love this idea! I would not spend 100 dollars for it though so Im going to make it myself. So to clear that up I simply like their style, has nothing to do with being a size 0.
Second, I agree with you I need to heal my own self body image which I am trying to do, and Im promoting eating healthy and exercising. I never diet nor have I ever mentioned dieting but stopping sugar is a good thing. eating boxes of doughnuts and never exercising does not make anyones body feel good. I just started exercising today because Im an inflexible mess sitting at the computer all day, not healthy at all.
Although I understand how you feel about role models I have to tell you, it is too much to put upon someone to live a holier than thou lifestyle. I have only promised to be honest about myself - in this day and age where television shows and the art world is a bunch of pretentious elitist crap I vow to be down to earth, honest with how I feel, how I look, and what Im going through, AND i vow to include all chickies in making art. That is all I can be for anyone. We can hold hands and do it together.
Like you, your daughter, and every other woman out there, I am a work in progress. I cannot say that I have all the answers. I can love myself and my body but yet not want it to go to hell. Little white doughnuts! Sitting on my butt! These things are not actions of someone who loves themselves. And they dont create a healthy body either. So Im looking at what I dont like in my life and thinking hey, Id like to be flexible and yeah, I dont want to see all this flab. Im honest. I dont find it attractive...but, my dear woman, I do love my fatty little belly in the meantime. do you understand? If I never get abs of steal I am still worthy. still perfect. But I love myself enough to admit where there is negativity in my life. I am healthy, I do not currently have any limitations to exercise or eating right so for me, at this stage in my life, it is important for me to do the right things in my life. I encourage others to do the same. If we dont want to keep getting fatter, if we dont want our bellies hanging over our pants, lets stop eating crap and get off the couch. Lets bellydance and eat whole wheat muffins and forego the butter!
If you think my philosophy is not good for your daughter by all means, have a talk with her. Tell her suzi blu is CRAZY and is 41 and LIVES IN HER PARENTS HOUSE IN HER OLD BEDROOM. I mean, what the hell do I know? Im just being myself. And if people need a friend, here I am. Thats all I can live up to. And you know, that is the best thing we can be for each other. Hey..if you have 20 cat and bad hair, dont have your shit together, I can still love you. Right? We have to stop wanting everyone to be perfect, expecting everyone to always say the perfect thing and have every area of their lives worked out. I dont! Im scared as hell most of the time. I want a boyfriend but I dont trust men (at all). I want a best girlfriend but I've been lied to so many times that all I can deal with right now is to hang at home with my little dog, curl up with books and work on my Goddess Class. I want to be a girl who feels sexy with her chunky thighs but I dont. But im not dieting. NEVER DIET. I stopped eating chocolate after every meal and no more white flour. Im doing something about how I look and Im doing it the right way. That is self love. yes?
Whats neat about all of this is you do not have to be perfect before you share yourself with the world. Just start from where you are and keep growing. We can all grow together. I find that more honest than pretending I am 100% perfect and live on a little cloud never thinking a negative thought. Its not true. BUT I tend not to think negative thoughts for too long and I do positive things for what is bothering me. I think thats why chickies like me.
xo
Suzi
Here is to a life that is not planned.
I am messy, sometimes neurotic, sometimes wise, always friendly. well, not in the early morning. And this is my life. It ain't always impressive but its true.